Bella Dodds

Stress + Anxiety

Integrative Health Coach


Embrace your Pain…Wait say what??!

Do you know anyone in your life or on the planet who doesn’t experience pain?

If you do…I am not sure what planet you live! 🙂

The truth is pain and challenge are a part of being alive. We all have it. We all experience it through loss, loneliness, boredom, a stressful job, rejection, grief, misbehaving kids, criticism, finances, conflicts in relationships, health challenges, etc…But what we don’t all do is use our pain as an effective force for good in our lives. Actually a force for tremendous good!

My feeling is if we are going to experience pain and it is an inevitable part of life – it is wise to have a healthy strategy for dealing with it that leaves us wiser, stronger, more fulfilled, capable and revitalized. If we want to be healthier on all levels of life it is wise to learn how to harness the good within our pain.

“When you accept that life is painful, it isn’t as painful anymore.” ~ Unknown

The grace of this quote can profoundly impact your life. The moment you stop resisting and accept that life has pain, simply through embracing life to be the way it is it suddenly softens and makes life less painful. Resistance takes energy and emotional pain to sustain it, where as acceptance takes courage, humility, wisdom, and a willingness to stand and face the uncontrollable and ask: “What is this challenge that I am worried or upset about trying to teach me? How is it helping me to grow more mature, patient, stronger and wiser? Is there another course of action for me to take that this worry is actually alerting me to?”

Can you feel how a subtle shift in perspective can change everything? You can go from having a anus sphincter spasm  (which is a technical scientific term for when you catch yourself being a lil-bit-uptight) of, “Why is this happening! This is not fair. I am so pissed off I can’t even think right now…” to initiating questions that originate from presence, strength, humility and a readiness to grow.

Within every challenge is an opportunity ~ within every opportunity an unexpected gift.

If we focus on the problem all we will will get stuck in stress experience:

  • Resentment
  • Anxiety
  • Trouble Sleeping/Insomina
  • Poor Digestion
  • Disconnection to Those We Love
  • Isolation
  • Overwhelm
  • Pain
  • Lack of Gratitude
  • Suffering, etc…

Tony Robbins once said, “You will experience pain, but that does not mean you have to suffer.” You will experience pain – but it is what you do with your pain and how you perceive it that can be life-changing for the good…allowing you to transform pain into purpose. When you focus on the hidden gifts and solution within your pain you will experience:

  • Inspiration
  • Health
  • Less Stress
  • Inner Calm and Peace
  • Spiritual Growth
  • Purpose and Meaning
  • Empowerment
  • Wisdom and Gratitude
  • Bewilderment
  • Patience
  • Fulfillment in Relationships
  • Joy and Ease
  • Confidence, etc…

When you understand that painful things are not only bad – you can stop the suffering cycle and you start looking for the good that comes hidden within every challenge.

Let’s make this practical to your life.

What is a major challenge you are experiencing right now? Is it a health issue? A person? A job? Are you really hard on yourself and criticize yourself a lot? What is a hot iron rod in your side that you can’t seem to break free from?

Once you have identified it now ask yourself the wise, humble questions: How is this pushing me to grow? What am I being challenged to learn and understand? How is this challenge serving me or alerting me to take a new course of action?

I’ll give you a brief example. Let’s say your challenge is your partner and he/she is causing you a great deal of stress and frustration. How is your partner serving you to grow in a deep and profound way?

  • Pushing me to stop and self-reflect on what is bothering me
  • Self-reflecting is opening my awareness to see that I am reacting out of fear of not feeling like anything I do is good enough for them
  • This feeling of not “Not being good enough” started a long time ago in my life – actually I never felt like my mom (or dad) thought I was good enough. No matter what I did they never seemed to fully love and accept me.
  • I wonder what is going on for my partner who is struggling a lot right now – he/she is under a lot of stress at work and has been feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the responsibilities we share
  • Maybe I will stop attacking my partner and start appreciating more of all of the amazing things they are doing
  • This week I will only focus on how grateful I am for him/her being in my life
  • Maybe I will get a baby sitter for the kids take my love out to dinner and show love and affection that I haven’t showed in years
  • Maybe I can be vulnerable and share without attacking how I am feeling about not being appreciated and not good enough and see if we can communicate better in a way that is more respectful and loving
  • I would love to be closer to my partner. This is the person I chose to spend my life with…I can be more self-aware, attack less, appreciate more, and communicate in a caring, mature way.

The truth is pain and challenge serve us at the heart level. Our Soul wants us to grow and act out of love and appreciation, rather than fear and protection. We can do better … and pain directs us to exactly where we need to grow in our lives and bring the healing light of consciousness to.

If you wish to free yourself from a pain in your life, whether it be a physical health challenge, a partner, your job, kids, boss, parent, etc. – know that on your Ego level you will always vindicate your story and force you to stay stuck in your pain causing suffering, or you can free yourself from suffering and learn to transform your pain into healing purpose.

“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” ~Thomas Merton

May you rise to meet your journey,


Bella Dodds is a Integrative Health Coach. She uses advanced methodologies that allow her clients to get to the core root of stress creating disharmony in their physiology and psychology. Contact Bella for a 15 minute complimentary consultation to discuss areas of in your life you would like to improve using her Higher Mind Health methods. Bella works nationally and internationally via phone or Skype. To set up a consult click HERE

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